drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
