I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
