4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
