You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
this is an emotional support booty call
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
