I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize