how can u be prego again
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
