I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
