Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
