She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
