what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
