hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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