babies were throwing up all over the place
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
