That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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