Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
