And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
