Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
