So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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