Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
