a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
