I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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