guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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