Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
