Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
