Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
