I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize