I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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