Where is the hickey?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
then he tried to convert me to islam
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
