Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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