my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
