Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
