the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
