come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
