ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
