i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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