it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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