she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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