they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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