dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
