sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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