Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
