I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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