Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize