I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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