Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
