people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
