I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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