I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
