I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
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