East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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