And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
