Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize