this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
