Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
