We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
