don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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