we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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