its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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