Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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