I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
