No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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